BEARD HALLOWEEN

As we fast apprach the scariest of seasons, we look at scary beard costumes. How are you incorporating your beard into your costumes this year? Let us know.

It’s that time of year when your facial hair becomes more. No longer is it a fashion accessory, an experiment, a piece of attire or a coconut oil-worshipping expense. It’s your key to the best Halloween costume in the party/pub/town hall… even if you effed up and forgot to plan a costume. Especially if you efffed up and forgot to plan a costume. Trust us, we’ve made a list.

The ‘Suitable for Children’s Parties’ Bearded Costume Options

  • Gandalf/Dumbledore/Merlin/ambiguous wizard You might have to get the white hair spray out though.
  • Captain Sparrow/Captain Hook (in any incarnation) Wear an earring? Or dreads? A bandanna? Own silver jewellery? You’re sorted. Or shave a bit and go as the cartoon edition:
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A Musketeer With optional appalling French accent and ringlets done with your girlfriend’s curlering tongs.

  • Ross Poldark More for the mums, that. Also maybe a bit cold this time of year, and potentially embarrassing if you aren’t ripped. On the plus side, you literally only need to find tight black trousers and a sycthe.
  • Papa Smurf C’mon, you know you want to.
  • A Leprechaun Wear something over the tights though, yeah?

In fact, our Facial Hair On Screen articles will help if you fancy going mainstream.

The ‘Forgot It’s Halloween and Raided the Wardrobe Last Minute’ Bearded Costume Options

  • Could your girlfriend go as Socality Barbie? Be her Ken. You won’t even have to buy anything.
  • The Lumberjack Like Socality Barbie’s Ken but with less product.
  • The Seasoned Sailor Just dig out your hiking/dog walking clothes or perhaps a cagoule.
  • The Ambiguous Pirate Seriously, if you have access to black trousers, boots and loose white shirt, just add that gold earring you swore you’d never put on again and Sharpie your arms with a mermaid.
  • Abraham Lincoln All you need is a black suit and giant hat…
  • Jesus Just wear something loose with sandals. Crown of thorns optional.
  • Ambigious Hippie Just wear something loose with sandals. Flower crown optional.

The ‘Utterly Terrifying Genuine Monster’ Bearded Costume Options

  • Pornstache For added creepiness grow that weird hair thing he had going on in series three.
  • Any of the dictators, terrorists or creepy dudes on the six o’clock news who have facial hair Please note The Beard Mag is not responsible for any offence caused (seriously, ‘the Hitler’ or ‘the Osama’ may go down well on a lads’ night in but your local high street ain’t your living room, yeah)
  • A tax collector

The ‘Facial Hair Focus’ Bearded Costume Options

This depends on the style of your beard and what you’re prepared to do to it to achieve costume greatness, but there are a few options that could work, including:

  • Basic zombie
  • Basic witch facial hair’s a must, innit!
  • Ambiguous beard plaiting 
  • Any of those small dogs with mini beards You know the ones.
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  • The Devil Red face paint with your beard gelled into spikes like you’re a ten year-old in 2002, amirite. Just remember to take it off before bed or your pillow will look like a murder scene.

This site also has a few photos that can be adapted to incorporate or feature your facial hair – although I guess if you really wanted to shock people, you could shave off the lot?

The ‘Absolutely Tanked It Minimal Effort’ Bearded Costume

If all else fails, just let the beard speak for itself.

BEARD TEE

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